i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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