so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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