Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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