Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
