I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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