____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
