i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
