member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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