speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
