I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Holy shit dude........stairs
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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