Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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