are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
