How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
