Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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