That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
