Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
