need another drink. this is the easiest way
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
