Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You had me at "let me see your balls"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
