Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
