think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
