i would punch a child for taco bell
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle