hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
I dont know to explain this.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.