So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!