What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
