Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
