it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
