im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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