We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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