i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
