redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
