Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
