just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
