Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize