There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!