I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
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I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
So much rum. So many feels.
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I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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