i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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