who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
