Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
