I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
