If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
