I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
