Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.