none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
