u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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