im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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