I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize