some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
