I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
