I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
