have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i was born a porn star she said
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
