I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
