I got chris browned last night
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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