I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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