I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
