My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
