So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize