Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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