Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
