My room smells like vodka and shame
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
