I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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