I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
