Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
