i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
