I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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