So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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