everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Last time i carry you out of a forest
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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